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10-11-99
Wow, today's episode was almost too much. Zzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh sorry, I must've dozed off during that killer sock hop. Anyway, I suppose we could at least hit some of today's highlights.
Belle stalls Marlena before springing the surprise.
Marlena: Honey, are you sure you're okay?
Belle: Why wouldn't I be?
Marlena: Well, SORAS can have some very long-lasting effects.
Belle: Oh mom, if it's only once a month...anyway, I'm glad we're home.
Marlena: I can't imagine why you were in such a hurry to get home -- I'm sure it had nothing to do with my birthday.
Belle: Right. So, Mom, how old are you anyway?
Marlena: I'm not sure dear. Ever since they stopped using the Julian calendar I can't figure it out.
(Marlena opens the penthouse door.)
Everyone: Surprise!
Marlena: gasp
*(take one drink, everybody! If you don't know what I'm talking about, go here:)*
Caroline: Were you surprised, dear?
Marlena: (collapsing in a debilitating fit of laughter) No, but seeing Frank Parker in a leather jacket is pretty damn funny.
Shawn: Are you ever gonna shut up about me spending my paycheck at the GAP?
*(take 6 drinks - 2 each for Shawn, Maggie, and Caroline. Then back AWAY from the bottle.)*
Belle: Oh my God, it's like totally like Grease on acid...
Marlena: You did such a good job on this party honey, especially since you can't read, write, or do arithmetic. But at least you managed to keep your mouth shut long enough not to spill the beans.
Carrie: Wow, Belle, you're good at keeping secrets.
Belle: I should be. Nobody's figured out yet that I'm only supposed to be 6 years old. And who can't do arithmetic??
Lucas and Sami take the Titan helicopter to the state capital.
Lucas: Are we there yet?
Sami: (tapping Lucas on the shoulder) I'm bored. Let's fight.
Lucas: OK.
Sami: You tricked me, blah, blah, blah.
Lucas: That last blah was totally out of line, Sami. I love my son very much.
Sami: Yeah right, Lucas. I bet you don't care enough about Will to do me right here, right now.
Lucas: I just want what's best for Will.
Sami: Huh? Did Austin come with us? (looks around)
Lucas: No - this plane can't take that much dead weight.
Sami: Oh. Anyway, let's go, big boy.
(They start stripping. The pilot gawks in disbelief, totally enthralled.)
Sami: I bet Nicole never thought of this!
Lucas: Well, I bet Austin never tried to do this!
Pilot (to himself): Whoa! This is so intense. (Grabs his left arm, wincing in pain) ARRRGH!
Sami (to Lucas): Oh yeah? Well, there's no way Nicole could do this...
Meanwhile, at the Kirakisless Mansion, Nicole and Austin have a squabble of their own.
Austin: Uh Nicole uh maybe uh you should uh lay off the uh drinking.
Nicole: (slurring and almost falling out of her chair) Maybe yew should mind yer own bizness, Austin. YEW are the biggest fool ever.
Austin: Yeah, so? I may uh be uh an idiot, but I have uh two women uh fighting uh over me...
Nicole: Yeah, so you're ugly AND a fool.
Austin: Hey! That's uh not uh fair.
Nicole: You're right, that title goes to the casting director who gave me this part. But you're a damn close second. You act like Sami is Mother Theresa!
Austin: I don't uh even watch uh Passions, Nicole, so that can't be uh true. Besides, you're not uh above uh criticism yourself. You uh married Lucas without uh breaking up with uh Eric.
Nicole: You don't know the whole story! (stumbles into the table but manages to stay standing up) I got paid for it too, AND I fake enjoying sex with Lucas.
Austin: I know enough, seeing as how Will and I learned the letter Q in pre-school last week.
Nicole: Henderson, I need another mimosa. And a screwdriver. And a Bloody Mary. Hell, just roll the liquor tray over here.
*(Mandi: Me too! Just give me ANYTHING!)*
Henderson: And they wonder why everyone in this house has a drinking problem.
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