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7-30-99
Okay, I'm a little late in filling you in on the DOOL drama -- that is if you're on real time. In Salem time, it could still be last Tuesday. Besides, I was so busy cheering for Carrie, I could barely write today's synopsis. I must say, she looks good as a slutty Barbie.
Eric and Greta run into Bo and Gope at "Le Roulet."
Eric: Bonsoir. I'm Eric Brady and this is Greta Von Amberg, and I believe we have reservations.
Waiter: Of course, we always make exceptions for gauche Americans; we French love them so much that we've apparently abandoned our entire language for them. Besides, it's not like we can actually pull off convincing French accents, much less speak the language. Anyway, your mother is here, Mademoiselle Von Amberg.
Greta: Thank you. (to Eric) Remember, she doesn't know that we know she's been transformed into Gina. So let's see how good our acting skills are.
Eric: Well, if it depends on that, maybe should just spill our guts now. (They approach Gope.)
Gope: Hi you two. This is an incredible coincidence.
Eric: It's also funny that we're both here at the same time.
At the hospital, Claire tries to keep Ali focused on the lawsuit.
CobraClaire: I wouldn't {hiss} be too sure of myself, Alison {hiss}.
Ali: This lawsuit is in the bag, just like voodoo Barbie...or did I leave her in my locker?
CobraClaire: Excuse me? Alison, you need {hiss} to focus on the facts {hiss} .
Ali: Facts, what are those?
CobraClaire: They're part of the {hiss} prize Craig keeps referring to {hiss}.
Ali: Oh. Do I still get to hit Carrie with the 2 X 4?
Mike discusses his chances in the arbitration with Craig and Nancy.
Craig: We're behind you 100%, buddy.
Nancy: Of course, it's because we're getting ready to stick a steak knife in your back...
Mike: Right. Well, I'm counting on you to testify for me.
Craig: Well, Ali's lawyer also contracted ... er, contacted me.
Mike: What could you possibly contribute to Ali's case?
Craig & Nancy (whistling, with the wide-eyed, "busted" stare): Oh, nothing...
Ali approaches the group.
Ali: Are you pressuring Craig and Nancy?
Mike: I don't need to - they're more than happy to jump on my bandwagon. Kind of like you a couple of months ago... Furthermore, I plan to be here for years.
Nancy: But what about the spoiler?
Ali: Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.
Mike: Like what's going to happen to this storyline after you, me and Carrie leave the show?
At the castle, Kurt and RPG are STILL continuing the "dinner" charade.
RPG: My makeup is a mess.
Kurt: You don't need makeup, your highness.
RPG: That's true, I'm so beautiful.
Kurt: Actually, I'm afraid that you might smother under any more powder. And not like it helps you a damned bit, Your Wrinkledness.
RPG: Oh Kurt, let's go sailing tomorrow.
Kurt: Only if you promise to jump overboard.
RPG: I hear the water in Hawaii is beautiful this time of year...
Bo, Eric, and Greta plot to recover Hope.
Bo: Hope is inside that woman somewhere.
Greta: Maybe she got stuck in an implant.
Eric: How can we get her back?
Greta: Maybe if we hit her with the 2 X 4?
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